It's Time to Rethink Love

February is the month when the price of flowers go up, the price of dating sites go down and the world places emphasis on finding “love”.   Now before you check out, I want to encourage you to think about the true meaning of love that has nothing to do with whether you have a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse. 

It’s the kind of love that we are all called to have for our God….and each other.   The kind that transcends feelings of what we want and how to get it. 

As I sat in church this morning and thought about the month of February, I was convicted about the word love and more importantly the meaning and actions behind it.  So, I am committed to a month of love and I am asking you to join me!  Here’s how it works:

1. Define true love. Loveliness.  

Miriam Webster has one definition that states love is an “unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) :  the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) :  brotherly concern for others. And defines lovely as (1):  attractive or beautiful especially in a graceful way.  (2.):  very good or likable. 

Consider what God says about love in 1 Corinthians 13(NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

2. Take a love inventory.

When you read these definitions, ask yourself:

• How am I demonstrating love? 

• Are my actions and countenance lovely to all I come in contact with?

• Is what you’re thinking lovely? 

• Is what you’re communicating, speaking love?  (in person, on email, on social media?)  

• How are you demonstrating true love to those around you?

• Does your family get your love based on the definitions above?  Your co-workers? 

• What needs to change so you are conformed to God’s definition of love?

3.  Make February a month of love.

The world needs more love not hate.  The world needs more love and service not selfishness.  The world needs more connection not more polarization.  So, will you be “lovely” and loving this month?  And, studies show that after a month of new behavior it becomes habit.  So, may we all create new habits of love to transform the world around us! 

If you’re committed, simply comment by saying “I commit”. I’ll take the month of February to pray for those who are joining me in this month of true love.

Will Your 2015 Be Purposeful?

I don't know about you but I have lost confidence in the process of setting New Year's Resolutions and if you pay attention to most studies on this process, most people have given up on them by now! 

So, I started a few years ago doing something different, for myself and my coaching clients.  It has never let me down so I'm sharing in hopes that it will help you live a more purposeful 2015! 

 Use the questions below to get your dreaming started!

Step I:  Reflection
When you reflect over your past year, how was God evident and present in your circumstances?  How did God demonstrate His love for you?  Are you aware of his provision, protection, purposes for you over the past year?

Step II:  Looking Ahead
What words would you like to sum up your year to come?  In other words, it’s December 31, 2015 and someone asks you to describe your year, what do you want to be able to say?

Now, pray and ask the Lord for 2-5 words to direct your year.  What Lord, do I pursue?  What are the things you want emphasized in my life?  Then, be patient.  He will give you what to focus on!   

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

Take a few minutes to read Psalm 34…..What did David pursue?  What did he fix His thoughts and life on?

Step III:  Action
Without making a plan too complicated, what one word or phrase in each of the areas below will help you live a more purpose filled, healthy life that glorifies God?  (hint:  Focus on what you want, not what you are trying to stay away from. It’s a more motivating mindset!) 

 Mind/Thoughtlife:

 Body/Health:   

Spiritual walk:

Purposeful Work/Life’s Calling: 

 Profession: 

Relationships:

Family:

Friends:

Co-workers: 

What do you want to ask God to help you do in 2015 that would enable you to have this purpose-filled year?

“What seems too difficult for us is a sure sign it belongs to God.”  Marie DePree

 “There is a way of thinking that enables you to overcome life's difficulties. It changes the landscape of your life. If you are living from your soul you will be touched by the world, the flesh and the devil. You will be easily overcome by anxiety, worry, and all manner of negative thinking. But, if you practice stepping back into that inner place of the Spirit where God lives, the place where your inner man lives in the Presence of God, you will find peace and the ability to overcome whatever you are facing.” Jane Hansen Hoyt, President of Aglow

Thriving in the Midst of Busyness, Chaos and “Hard Stuff”

What does thrive mean to you?

Webster defines "thrive" as  to grow vigorously  (flourish), to gain in wealth or possessions:  (prosper) and to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances.

I don't know about you but there are times I find it difficult to flourish, prosper and progress despite or because of circumstances.   But I am learning that to thrive is a choice we make.

We all have reasons (excuses) that we use to remain discontent.....we say things like:

If only I could......
It will get better when......
It's ________ fault I am where I am......

But these thoughts or statements rehearsed long enough keep you bound in toxic, ungodly emotions that don't demonstrate the joy we are supposed to have in ALL circumstances.  As my husband and I are facing our own battles with thriving in the midst of chaos, we sat down to discuss how we can stay joyful, purpose filled and content despite outside circumstances.

Here's our tips:

1.       Identify causes of not thriving. 

You can’t work on what you don’t identify!

a.       Is this a “season” meaning something temporary that God can use to teach you something or draw you closer to Him and His will?
b.      Or, is this because of choices you’re making or habits that are unhealthy and unproductive?

The truth: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

 “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

2.       Seek God’s truth of the situation.

a.       Go back to what God’s spoken to you, promised you and done for you.  
b.      How does that align with or impact the season?  Or the choices/habits you’re making?
c.      What will you do about it?

The truth: Isaiah 45:2-3
“I will go before you and make the crooked places straight;
I will break in pieces the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron.
 I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places,
That you may know that I, the Lord, who call you by your name, Am the God of Israel.”

3.       Rest

a.       You must find time to rest weekly.  
b.      Recognize rest and rejuvenation are different for everyone.  
c.       What rejuvenates you?  Gives you rest?

4.       Maintain fellowship with God

a.       You must relentlessly pursue God and fellowship with Him.
b.      How are you making time with Him sacred?
c.       If you’re not making time with Him sacred, what priorities are you choosing over Him?

The Truth: Isaiah 57:15
“For thus says the High and Lofty One Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“I dwell in the high and holy place, With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble, And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”

The Message version:
“I live in the high and holy places,  but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed,
And what I do is put new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again."

 5.       Choose healthy habits and boundaries

a.       Identify what’s off limits  and set boundaries so you don’t compromise
b.      Identify what a healthy life is for you
c.       Identify destructive ways you choose to “escape” versus facing a situation

6.       Don’t give up on what God has for you!  

a.       Is what you’re facing making you give up?  Give in?  Feel like a failure?   Those are tactics of the enemy!   
b.      Often, times of testing, trials and hardships are the enemy’s efforts to try and make you give up on God’s destiny.  
c.       Go back to #2.  What is God’s truth and what has He promised to you?

7.       Don’t neglect friendships and serving

a.       In the midst of “hard stuff”, how are you relying on friendships and Godly mentors to help you and give you perspective?  Isolation and pride can be escape tactics to “not deal!”
b.      When things are crazy, it’s important to take focus of yourself. Serve others and find ways to use your gifts to remind you of your purpose and calling.

For further study on contentment and thriving, study the life of Paul.  (Philippians 4, Book of Acts)

What is currently prohibiting you for feeling like you’re thriving or being content?

So of the seven things we’ve listed, which ones would help you the most in the midst if your busy and chaotic life?

Quiet time

The Storm that Led to “Living" Sanctuary 

Last year in Central Virginia, we experienced a weather phenomenon called a Derecho.  While hosting our couples Bible study this storm blew in just as we were finishing up for the evening.   That weekend was jam packed with not only hosting this study but preparing for the launch of a major initiative at work.  But in the matter of 20 minutes, this storm changed the agenda and not just for the weekend but for the next two weeks.  Power was out, roads were blocked and homes and cars were destroyed. 

Now, June in Virginia can be hot and humid with temperatures in the 90’s and no power for two weeks can make for a pretty miserable time.    But something occurred during these two weeks.   When left with the option of being hot and miserable or finding ways to enjoy the world without technology, I chose to think of the world before technology and live in the moment….. in tune with sights, sounds, smells and activities that used to be treasured before TV, Internet and technology took over the world.

We moved in with my husband parent’s on their Christmas tree farm 10 minutes down the road because they still had power.   But because most of the region was without power, the pace of life was different. Priorities shifted.   What I discovered was that even though we were staying in a house that still have power and technology, what I longed for was quiet. I longed for a slower pace. I treasured extended periods of time for devotions and journaling.  I treasured family time around the kitchen table with board games and long conversations. Thus, began my quest to create time and space in my schedule to create these experiences, even with power restored.   In essence, I wanted “Sanctuary.”  A place and a state of mind that was quiet, peaceful and a refuge from the worlds pull.

Today, a year later, this quest has paid off.  We’ve moved from suburbia to a 17 acre farm.  I’ve yet to get internet access at the property, and I am ever conscious of what happens in me and to me when I over schedule and remove margin from my weeks.

So, what about you?  Do you long for a slower pace, rest and peace in your hectic life.   Well my friends, it’s an intentional choice you have to make to create it. 

Here’s a process to help you get started…..

Find a quiet space and spend a few minutes meditating on the following:

Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God.”

 Be.Still.  Be.Still.   Repeat that slowly over and over again for 30 seconds.   What do you feel?   

1. What would “de-plugging” do for your personal and spiritual life?
2. What changes do you long to make in your life that would enable you to enjoy quiet, a slower pace, treasured family and devotional time?     
3. What will you regret years  from now if you don’t make these changes now?