When You Want a "Do Over"

Have you ever had a day, week or season that you just wanted to forget?  Or "do over"?  Well, rest assured, I have to!   

In talking with friends, I know I’m not alone but it’s not ok to just say “at least I’m not the only one.”  It’s not ok to accept the things I say and do that negatively impact others by saying “I’m human” or “I’m living in a fallen world.”  

I’m discovering that the only thing that truly clears the conscience is becoming totally transparent, humble and repentant.  And then, doing something different. 

As someone in the public eye, it becomes easy to develop a persona. And with social media, that persona can take a form of whomever you want to others to see.  But, you and God know the truth.  Stripping away the facades and the image of who I portray to who I really are brings me to truth.  Brings me to humility….to a place of brokenness in front of my heavenly father and others.  And now, to you, the reader. 

So, just what do I want to “do over?”  The list is long but at the present moment, here’s my heart’s cry. And, since we never get a “do over” but rather a chance every day to see God’s mercy and to begin again, here’s what I desire to be and do:  

• I desire to be patient and attentive regardless of what label my personality says I can’t be.  Being driven, distracted and task focused is no excuse.  It’s a data point to recognize!

• I desire to be kind….to everyone, no matter how I am treated or the day I have had. 

• I desire to listen not talk. And to truly hear rather than be the one that is heard.

• I desire to sacrifice and serve more rather than using my schedule and exhaustion as a reason to not do more for others.

• Lastly, I desire to love more.  Especially to those that are most important to me. My beloved husband.  My wonderful family.  My friends, colleagues and business partners.    

I write this open letter before you a humble, flawed woman who recognizes that the “Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” and there are so many opportunities I’ve missed because of my own flesh.  Flesh that is ugly, selfish, prideful and void of God's truth.    

And by making this public, I choose to invite others to loose the chains of facades, false images or persona’s of importance so that you can live a life of freedom.  Free to be who Christ says you are when you submit to His whisper to your soul.  

What about you?   Do you need a “do over?”  Do you need to make amends to someone?  
If so, may the words below encourage and inspire you to be courageous and take the steps to shed yourself from those things that keep you bound to a façade that won’t bring glory to Christ or earn you a crown in the Heaven. 

Go to a quiet place and use the information below to process where you are and where you want to be.

Can you think of a time when you really wanted a “do over” and to erase something you did or said?  Since you couldn’t erase it, what did you do?  

What doesn’t work when you want a “do over” ……Excuses

I’m sorry but…..
I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t……..
It was because of……. 

“Excuses are the nails used to build the house of failure.”  Anonymous

What does work…….Remembering the Truth
His mercies are new every morning!  God is always waiting for you to come to him so He can shower you with compassion.

Lamentations 3:19-23 (NIV)
“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

What does work……..Love.
Show love.  

1 Corinthians 13:7 
 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

“Bears in Greek- “Stego” which literally means a thatch roof.  Love is a roof that absorbs the storms.  Ann Voskamp 

Bottom line is to recognize what leads to you wanting a “do over.”

What “flesh” issues seem to be the ones that lead you to wanting “do overs?”  Is it pride?  Is it selfishness?  Is it fear or insecurity?  Is it perfectionism?  Is it envy or comparison?  Something else?   

You can’t work on what you don’t identify!

Regret happens when we allow our flesh to rule rather than consciously submitting our flesh to the Spirit of God that lives within us.  

Remind yourselves of truth…

Philippians 2:1-18
Galatians 5:16-26
James 5:13-16 

What do you need to do today to show mercy?  Show love?   Be the “letter of Christ” to others?

Live today with no regrets!   Slay the pride, selfishness, comparing, envy, etc. and allow the Spirit of Christ in you to rise!  

My prayer is that this post will help you live the life Christ called you to live.  To be fully alive and comfortable in who HE has called you to be! 

 

Is it Time for Reflection- Part Two

My last post, I wrote about turning 40 and how that milestone was cause for reflection.  I even shared a few initial outcomes of that reflective process.   This post, I offer some perspectives on why reflection is important and even instrumental for insight and personal growth.  

Why not take some time to go through the exercises.  Would love to hear what insights you have after the process!
How often do you do the following:

Think about what you’re currently doing, facing, how you’re living and what it might mean for your life?            
Daily                Weekly                 Monthly                       Sporadically                 Never

Think about where you are spiritually, mentally, physically and take what you’re thinking to God?
Daily                Weekly                  Monthly                       Sporadically                 Never

Journal your thoughts, behaviors and “patterns” to process where you are.
Daily                Weekly                  Monthly                       Sporadically                 Never

 If you do any of the above, why do you do it?

 How do you feel after you do these things?

 Does taking these steps lead to any thought or behavior changes?  

 “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

 Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful. Margaret J. Wheatley  

We are called to “be ready” in season and out of season.   2 Timothy 4 

Reflection & examining self honestly can help you be ready.

The Lord examines us.  Psalm 26:2, Proverbs 5:21
Shouldn’t we be asking ourselves what he will find?  Lam. 3:40, 1 Cor. 11:28, 2 Cor. 13:5

A reflective exercise:

1. Write your spiritual resume listing your gifts, miracles you’ve experienced, what God has done in you and through you.    What have you lived through that makes you who you are today?

2. Write your professional resume listing your skills, talents, accomplishments and job history.   Then ask yourself, how was God evident in your professional history?  

3. Now, imagine you arrive in heaven before today is over.   You are giving your “account” of life and what you did on this earth for Him.   

   • What do you say?  

   • What do you repent for?    

4. Perhaps before today is over, you might consider taking these things to the father in prayer.   

Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.   Peter Drucker

Is it Time for Reflection?

Tomorrow, I turn 40.  Hardly seems possible really but the calendar doesn’t lie.  Instead of dwelling on how I now need to cover the gray and that my metabolism isn’t keeping up with my appetite, I’ve decided that a milestone birthday provides a perfect occasion to reflect.   In the business of everyday life, it’s important to stop, take inventory and recalibrate. 

Some of the questions I’ve been pondering over the past few weeks leading up to the big 40 include:

• What would sum up my first 40 years?

• What am I most proud of?   What would I like to forget and why?

• What have I learned that is worth passing on to others?

• What is left undone?

• Am I living the life that will support my life vision which states “Living a life that models Christ, inspires others and leaves a legacy?”

Easy to write the questions, harder to truly answer!   But, I have scheduled a few days off over the next two weeks to fully address these questions and then recalibrate.     Life is too important not to!  

In short, though, I can say that I’m most proud of the following:

• Making a decision for Christ during my first year of college.
  Making a decision to forgive and enjoy the reconciliation with my father.

• Choosing to stick it out through the “hard” with family and friends rather than bailing.

What’s left undone?

• Fully embracing fear and yet pushing forward.

• Shedding the constant struggle of wanting to please people and the desire for approval from others.  If you’ve ever had abandonment  from a loved one, you know how this shows up every day.

• Intentionally focusing on the long term vision every day rather than the day to day issues that try to distract me from my life’s calling.

Letting this one soak down deep.....
Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word. NLT Psalm 119:37

What about you?  
Are you at a point in your life where you could benefit from reflection and some days of for “think time?”     What are you waiting for? 

What Everyone Really Wants

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day.   The hubby and I chose to spend it with my mother and grandmother who live just down the road.   After 18 years of marriage, he and I find ways to enjoy time together without a formal holiday telling us to do so!  And, there is no greater example of sacrificial love than my mom, who gave up her independence and moved in with my grandmother after the death of my grandfather over nine years ago.

So, mom and I spent the evening together in the kitchen doing what we love.  But something wonderful and unexpected happened in between mashing potatoes and making salad dressing.  My 89 year old grandmother walks in the kitchen with a tattered book bearing her name of the front. 

The pages that unfolded under the name “Christine” (a name I only hope I can live up to that I share with her) contained the intimate heartfelt thoughts of a wartime soldier who longed to see his love.  Yes, my grandfather had in fact written almost every day while his service in the Army kept him away.  

As she turned the pages and shared the intimate details of their courtship and beginning years together it was as if history came alive and their love story was unfolding right in front of us. 

Isn’t that what everyone wants?   To be loved and to love deeply? 
Is that what everyone wants?  A written record that demonstrates affection and the longings of those that want so much to be with us?

And, isn’t that what God has given us yet we so often choose to neglect? 
Yes, written in His Word are words that echo His love for us and ways to love others deeply as we demonstrate His love.

Jeremiah 31:3-4 (NIV)

 The Lord appeared to us in the past,[a] saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful.

Ephesians 2:4-10
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,  made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Just as my grandmother treasured the letters she re-read last night, we should treasure the letters God has written to us. I couldn’t help but think about how Jason and I would have missed this special evening if we had done something different and how the events that unfolded last night were such a wonderful reminder of what has been written for me……for you, to remind us of how much we’re loved.     

 Take some time over the next week to read God’s love letter to you.  Take some time to share love with others and demonstrate the type of love that Christ died for us to have. 

1. What words written in scripture help you remember that you are loved and have purpose on this earth?

2. What words written is scripture remind you that loving and serving others is when you are most like Christ?

3. How can you model God’s love to others in this upcoming week?

 
Dear Lord,  Help everyone reading this today discover or re-discover your love for them.  Give them a desire to spend time in your Word and, as they turn the pages, may you come alive to them in a real and personal way that meets their heart longing that needs to be filled.   May your Word become alive and may our lives point people to the only true love that never ends, the love that comes from you.

In Jesus name. Amen.